This is What Happened When I Stopped Trying to be Super Mom

It’s kind of wild… I thought if I just got my life together a little more, I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed.

Like if I had a better routine, woke up earlier, stayed more on top of things, maybe then my days would finally feel calm. But instead? I just felt like I was constantly behind. No matter how much I did, there was always something else waiting for me. And I kept thinking… what am I doing wrong?

I remember sitting on the couch one day when the house was finally quiet, and instead of feeling relieved, I felt anxious. Like I should get up. Like I was wasting time. And I had this thought—when did resting start to feel like I was doing something wrong?

That was kind of the moment things started to shift for me.

The first thing I stopped doing was trying to be productive all the time. Every little pocket of time didn’t need to be filled anymore. If I had ten minutes, I didn’t automatically jump up to clean something or “be useful.” I just… sat. And at first it felt uncomfortable, but then it started to feel like breathing again.

The second thing I stopped doing was running everywhere. I used to leave the house constantly—errands, quick stops, just getting out. And it always felt like I was doing something good or productive, but by the end of the day I was exhausted and my mind felt all over the place. It's really hard to go all over town with 2 littles. If you know, you know!! So I just… stopped. I started staying home more, doing less, letting things wait. And believe it or not, life started to feel slower in the BEST possible way!

And the third thing I stopped doing was saying yes to things I didn’t really have the energy for. Not big things—just the little stuff that adds up. The phone calls, the plans, the “sure, I can do that.” And I realized I was giving away all my energy before I even got to use it on my own life. So now I ask myself—do I actually have the capacity for this? And if I don’t, I let that be okay. And yes, sometimes that means saying no to friends... and even if it's awkward or cringy at times, you need to do what is best for your family.

I didn’t fix my overwhelm by doing more. I fixed it by doing less. My 22 year old productive non-married self would be so ashamed of that statement right there!!! But my 29 year old married with babies self is just so, so proud of how far I have come!

And I know that sounds almost too simple, but maybe that’s the point!

Maybe you’re not overwhelmed because you’re not doing enough. Maybe you’re overwhelmed because you’re doing too much. And that's perfectly okay to admit...

And maybe… you’re allowed to put some of it down